Nobody likes hard times! In his letter to the Philippians, Paul writes from prison to thank that church for their generous support and to encourage them to remain joyful in every circumstance, no matter what they face in life at the moment! Paul is an older, wiser man here, reflecting on all he has faced in life, which is more than you and I will ever face: shipwrecks, beatings, imprisonments, riots, sleepless nights and hunger, humiliation, poverty, mocked as an imposter, rejection, and constant hardship and distresses! And yet the summary of his entire letter can be found in Phil.4:4, which says “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near!”

All of us want to be happy most the time, but life doesn’t work that way! What happens to us when “the wheels come off”? When money is scarce, when health deteriorates, we lose a job, or a loved one gets sick or dies? This beautiful letter to the Philippian church shows us the great difference between the world’s shallow definition of “happiness”, and what the Bible defines as “joy”.

 In the introduction in my “Life Application Bible”, it says, “True joy is deep and strong, not superficial. It is the quiet, confident assurance of God’s love and work in our lives— that he will be there no matter what! Our happiness should not depend on what happens to us, but on what happens in us— the transformation that takes place when we put our trust in Jesus Christ and his Holy Spirit comes to live in us, giving us God’s perspective on life and all the ups and downs that come with it.”

In chapter 1, Paul gives us four major guideposts that can bring us true joy and peace as we face life’s adversities, disappointments, and pain.

1) BEGIN EVERY DAY AND SITUATION WITH THANKFULNESS AND PRAYER FOR YOUR FAMILY AND OTHER BELIEVERS THAT GOD HAS GRACIOSULY BROUGHT INTO YOUR LIFE!

³  I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, ⁴  always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, ⁵  because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. ⁶  And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. -Philippians 1:3-6 (ESV)
Paul reminds us that we are not alone, and God is working in our friends’ lives as well to bring about his greater purpose for our lives together. Also, we find comfort in knowing none of us “has it all together”! But God is working continually in our lives to help us grow together and become, slowly, more like Jesus. God will not give up on us, and we should not give up either!

Remember, joy consists of internal stability in spite of external circumstances!

⁹  And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, ¹⁰  so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, ¹¹  filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.  -Philippians 1:9-11 (ESV)
Paul encourages us to pray for each other that we have God’s knowledge and discernment, so we end up doing the right things the right way, as God leads us!

2) EVEN WHEN LIFE IS UNFAIR AND YOU ARE TREATED WRONGLY, GOD WILL USE EVERY SITAUTION TO ADVANCE HIS PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE AND TO ADVANCE HIS KINGDOM IN THE WORLD!

¹²  I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, ¹³  so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. ¹⁴  And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear. ¹⁵  Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will.
¹⁶  The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. ¹⁷  The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. ¹⁸  But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, ¹⁹  for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.

 – Philippians 1:12-18 (ESV)

Paul was falsely imprisoned, but instead of whining and demanding justice, he basically said, “Hey, guys, it’s all good! God is doing a great thing in spite of this unfair junk!”  The guards that had to stay with him heard the gospel from him and many became Christians. He also wanted to encourage others on the outside to be strong and bold in their faith!

There were other church people who were jealous of Paul and were secretly glad he was in prison! They wanted to take credit for the work of the church instead of Paul. I know, it’s hard to believe that church people would do that (lol), but backstabbing is nothing new to Christians who are weak in character and whose motives are wrong! Paul was strong and gracious enough to let this roll off his back and say “Hey, Jesus is being preached and that’s the most important thing, even if it’s coming from selfish Christians!” God works with imperfect people, including us!

3) GOD WILL PROVIDE WHAT WE TRULY NEED IN THIS LIFE, AND PROMISES AN EVEN BETTER LIFE BEYOND THIS ONE! WE NEED THAT ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE TO REMAIN JOYOUS AND PUT OUR PRESENT HARD CIRCUMSTANCES IN PROPER PERSPECTIVE!

²⁰  I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. ²¹  For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. ²²  If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! ²³  I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; ²⁴  but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. ²⁵  Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, ²⁶  so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.  – Philippians 1:20-26 (NIV)

This is one of my favorite passages!! After my wife Claudia died 20 months ago, I have come to look at death a little differently. Don’t get me wrong! I hope to live maybe another 18-20 years and enjoy my family and friends, enjoy God’s creation, maybe share life with another wonderful partner, and in all ways serve Jesus and share the good news of his beautiful Kingdom!  But like Paul, I have come to see the eventual death of my body not as something to fear. Rather, it will be a transition into a whole new, wonderful existence in the presence of Jesus! And soon, all of us as his followers will return to earth with him as he establishes his new, amazing Kingdom forever, without sin, sickness, and death! So if you are a believer in Jesus, you will NEVER die! Your feeble body will die, but YOU will live forever, and then we will get new bodies that will never get sick or die! So, like Paul says, it’s great to be here now, but it will be even better in the new Kingdom! We have absolutely nothing to fear on this earth, because Jesus has already overcome every evil force, and justice will be done when he returns!

So, relax in Jesus, love him, love each other, love creation, and just enjoy the life he has given you!

4) BECAUSE OF WHAT GOD HAS ALREADY DONE FOR US, WE ARE CALLED TO ALWAYS LIVE A LIFE WORTHY OF THE GOSPEL, AND LIVE WITH THE JOY AND PEACE THAT ONLY JESUS CAN GIVE US!

²⁷  Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel ²⁸  without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved–and that by God. ²⁹  For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him, ³⁰  since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have. – Philippians 1:27-30 (NIV)

Paul is saying that even though you are going through hardships, disappointments, and suffering (and we all will at times), live in a way that honors and reflects what Jesus is doing is your life and what he has already done for us through his death and resurrection! Too many Christian are afraid of what experts, politicians, governments, and pundits say today. And sadly, way too many get caught up in the negative, destructive words and attitudes that are destroying our culture today. Rather than building each other up, we are often tearing each other down!

Paul is telling us to live like Jesus did! Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you (or today, those that try to “cancel” you), and forgive those who sin against you, just as God forgives you. And most of all, don’t be afraid!! Jesus has already won the ultimate battle, and we are on his side forever! Paul says if we Christians can live with peace, joy, calmness, and act in love in the midst of today’s chaotic culture, people will notice. Some will see our fearless behavior as a sign that they also need to change or face God’s judgement. Others may scoff and ridicule us, but there is really NOTHING they can ultimately do to hurt us or keep us from God and his future Kingdom!

So, whatever your circumstances are today, whether difficult or good at the moment, relax and fully trust in Jesus, and he will give you all you need to live a life of true joy!

Remember, it’s not what’s happening around us that matters; it’s what God is doing IN us that makes all the difference!

Relax, trust only in Jesus, and let him lead you into the life that he has designed uniquely for you in this world!

Jesus offers us a wonderful invitation:

²⁸  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  -Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
 

I pray you accept this invitation, and find his joy and rest for your soul!

What is truth, anyway? When Pontius Pilate questioned Jesus just before sentencing him to death by crucifixion, Jesus answered him, saying, “You say that I am a King. In fact, the reason I was born and came into this world was to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me”. (John18:37) Pilate then cynically responds “What is truth?” Like most people today, Pilate thought “truth” was relative, and was what the majority of people agreed with, or what would advance his personal powers or political goals.

Today we are bombarded with ideas and information, much of it claiming to be “truth”. As Christians, we need to learn and remember that everything God says about himself, us, and this world in the Bible, and through the words of Jesus, is ultimately true, and anything else is just human opinion. And if it differs from what God says, it is NOT true! The Bible makes a pretty dramatic distinction between God’s wisdom, truth, and understanding as compared to ours:

⁸  For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.

⁹  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. – Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)

–   ⁶  Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. -John 14:6 (ESV)

The Bible also makes it clear that because we are all infected by sin from birth, our very thoughts are limited and tainted, and we live in perpetual “darkness” and can’t see and understand clearly what God has for us! The disciple John lays it out clearly for us:

¹⁶  “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. ¹⁹  This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. ²⁰  Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. ²¹  But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.”- John 3:16-17, 19-21 (NIV)

The problem of humanity since the fall in the Garden of Eden is that we try to solve all our problems and tell each other how we are supposed to live (and attempt to control each other), without any help from God! The sin of idolatry is detestable to God, and it means putting your faith and trust in any person, thing, or idea other than God himself. And like all generations before us, we are drunk with the idolatry of our own lofty opinions, ideas, and arrogant pronouncements about morality that often purposely leave God completely out of the picture. We spend our time, money, and passions listening to every new voice that tickles our ears and pushes our favorite agenda. With “smart” phones, endless news cycles, and unlimited access to windbag politicians, pundits, bloggers, podcasters, professors, doctors, scientists, and even some un-biblical pastors, we are washed away in a sea of conflicting ideas and divided into teams and tribes based on which version of the “darkness” we choose to believe. And just as Satan, the “Prince of Darkness” desires, we turn on each other and are divided and filled with hate and mistrust, just the opposite of what Jesus came to save us from.

Jesus, being the Light of God, saw the darkness in human souls, and would not tolerate their foolishness:

–   ²³  Now while he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Feast, many people saw the miraculous signs he was doing and believed in his name. ²⁴  But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. ²⁵  He did not need man’s testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man.– John 2:23-25 (NIV)
–   ⁵  This is what the LORD says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. ⁹  The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? ¹⁰  “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.” – Jeremiah 17:5,9-10 (NIV)

Here’s our problem today, and it has been the same problem in every generation throughout history:

Since humanity always loves darkness and confusion rather than the truth and redemption of God, we are forced to choose between human opinions that are always less than God’s truth!

This is not to say that ALL human ideas are totally wrong or evil. Some people of all views and perspectives come with good intentions and ideas to make life better for humanity. The problem is that because we are all sinful and “living in darkness” (before we come to Jesus and begin to “see the Light”), even our best ideas are going to be less than what God has for us if we don’t follow God’s teachings and plan for our lives. It would be helpful is we were at least honest about our limitations and flaws:

– We are ALL biased! That includes politicians, teachers, professors, doctors, lawyers, pastors, scientists, judges, bankers, military leaders, and yes, you and me!

– Throughout history, there is always an “elite class” of rulers and experts who think they know more than the “common people” and seek to impose their version of partial darkness on the rest of us. History shows this never really works and often leads to more division and mistrust and often just makes things worse.

And of course today, in our culture that has exploded with unending information (variations of darkness and confusion) being forced on us through the Internet and our TV screens, we have those who pretend to nobly want to censor or control this “dis-information or mis-information” (for our own good, of course!) This has taken the form of social media “fact-checkers” who are woefully biased toward one viewpoint, or worse yet, government agencies filled with partisan hacks who really just want to limit any other viewpoint than their own. Sadly, in the past several years, we have seen politicians, government leaders, and “experts” on all sides continually exposed as lying and trying to deceive and manipulate us for their benefit and control. Why would we trust any of these people to be the “gatekeepers” of truth when they are constantly sharing at least partial darkness themselves?

SO, WHAT SHOULD BE OUR CHRISTIAN APPROACH TO FINDING TRUTH IN THIS CULTURE OF PARTIAL DARKNESS, MANIPULATION, AND INFORMATION OVERLOAD?

1) Even though all of us are broken by sin and thus often confused in our thinking, we can still value each person as made in God’s image and encourage respectful, open discussion of all ideas in the secular culture!

Jesus knows we are broken in our souls and thought processes, yet he offers to change us from the inside out and help us see things from his perspective. He also promises that when we trust in him, he will send his Holy Spirit to dwell in us. And he adds “when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth” (John16:13) Why not let God’s Spirit help us to gently listen to others and also show us ways to inject God’s love and grace into our everyday conversations?

Also, one of the great advantages we have for sharing God’s truth with others in our country is the right to free speech! While that means many crazy and not so helpful ideas may be put forth, we also have the opportunity to share God’s truth and hope with a culture living in darkness and fear. In the secular realm of ideas, we should be advocates for the approach to discussion which used to be called classic liberalism, which sadly is a rare occurrence today. (For my conservative friends, this is NOT the same as liberal political thought or ideology!)  This simply means that we all come to a discussion with different perspectives and yet have total respect for each other. We vigorously debate all the different ideas, maybe come to some common agreement on some ideas, or just agree to disagree in some cases, and part as respectful friends wanting to grow and learn together in the future. This approach would be so refreshing in contrast to today’s approach which is often “I’m going to win and you will lose, and I will demean you, call you names, and try to cancel your ability to even speak so my side always wins” approach, which leads to more division, mistrust, and hatred in a never-ending cycle!

2) AS BELIEVERS, WE NEED TO LEARN TO TIE BOTH TRUTH AND LOVE TOGETHER AS A TOTAL WAY OF LIFE THAT WE LIVE EACH DAY!

The disciple John, in his later years, tied these ideas together as he reflected on Jesus’ life and example for us:

¹  The elder, To the chosen lady and her children, whom I love in the truth–and not I only, but also all who know the truth– ²  because of the truth, which lives in us and will be with us forever: ³  Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father’s Son, will be with us in truth and love. ⁴  It has given me great joy to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as the Father commanded us. – 2 John 1:1-4 (NIV)
 

Why must be tie both ideas together? – Because truth without love leads to cold orthodoxy, while love without truth is empty sentimentalism.

John commends his people for “walking in the truth”. This means we walk, or live  God’s truth every day, not just be our words, but by our actions and our attitudes of humility, kindness, and service to others. As John mentions above, every word from our mouth about God’s truth should reflect God’s grace, mercy, and peace, and if they don’t’, we need to go to God ourselves and repent and ask him to renew our heart and soul. Jesus warned us by saying “ ³⁴   For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. “Matthew 12:34b (ESV)

One of the simplest ways to discern if something is God’s truth or just human opinion is to look at the fruits, or results, of what it leads to. Much of today’s ideas just lead to more division, wars, death, mistrust, blame for the other side, hatred, desire to control and manipulate for one group’s benefit, and on and on with very little benefit for all people. It’s always “somebody wins while many others will have to lose”.

God’s truth through Jesus, on the other hand, leads to forgiveness, redemption, power to change for the better, and eventual restoration of what we lost in the Garden of Eden. The fruit of God’s Spirit in our lives leads to love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control!

Which sounds better to you?

Jesus encouraged us by saying, “If you hold to my teaching, you really are my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free”.  John 8:32

I pray you will seek and learn the truth of God through the studying the Bible and the leading of his Holy Spirit, and that you will be set free by his grace, mercy, and peace.

And then I invite you to share that truth by your words, actions, and attitude with a world living in fear and darkness. Bring others the hope and truth of Jesus!

Over the next several months, I hope to do a series of blogs on how to live the “lifestyle” of Jesus. Jesus not only came to save us from sin and give us life-altering teachings; he modeled and called us to follow his pattern of living, his actual way of doing life. This is how we were designed to see the world now and for eternity, how we relate to each other, and how God designed us to enjoy, celebrate, and just have fun with Him, each other, and this amazing physical world!

So I’m going to begin with the most amazing, wonderful, complicated, and difficult relationship God designed for us: marriage! (And if you are not married and don’t want to be, these practices still apply to other relationships and will make your life better than you can ever imagine!)

Now, some may ask “What does Jesus know about marriage? He was a single guy who never even got married!” Well, consider this…Jesus was God, and he was the Creator, and marriage was his idea! When someone questioned him about divorce, he answered by pointing to what marriage was designed to be…

⁴  “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ ⁵  and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? ⁶  So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”  -Matthew 19:4-6 (NIV)

Not only that, but when Jesus came down to earth as fully God/fully human, he came as a groom searching for his eternal bride! Did you know the Bible says when Jesus returns and banishes all evil and inaugurates his Kingdom, our relationship with him will be this: He will be the groom, and all of us who believe in him and trust him with our lives (the Church) will be his bride forever! (Guys, I know it’s weird to think of being the “bride”, but hey, he’s God and can do it anyway he wants to!)  So, marriage here on earth, as imperfect as it always is, is meant to be an example and give us a “taste” of the most amazing, intimate relationship God desires for us, which is a personal, loving, eternal relationship with him!

SO, WHEN JESUS CAME TO EARTH, IT COULD BE DESCRIBED AS THE FIRST, COSMIC “CHRISTIAN MINGLE”!

Now, I just happen to be on a Christian dating site called “Christian Mingle”. Not something I ever thought I would do, but… it is what it is! Here’s how it works: you put your best pictures of yourself on the page, and you write a “profile”, which is a description of yourself which hopefully makes you look great and appealing, without actually lying about it! And you may also hint at the type of person you hope to meet and date, describing what they “should” be like.

So just imagine Jesus, the only “Mr. Perfect” ever, coming down to earth and looking for his potential bride to be the perfect “match” for him. He, being “Mr. Perfect”, is without sin, he never lies to you, he listens intently to you all the time, his heart and motives are always pure, he promises to stay with you no matter what you do, he will forgive you over and over, he will overlook your flaws and his main desire is to redeem you and build you up into the amazing person God designed you to be! And then he looks at our profiles, and says, ‘Wow. There’s not anyone close to being a match for me here!” The reason is this…

1) BECAUSE WE ARE ALL SINFUL BY NATURE, WE ARE FLAWED, MESSED UP IN MANY WAYS, AND LESS THAN WE WERE CREATED TO BE!

The more vulnerable and intimate a relationship is, the more this becomes apparent! That’s why marriage is so tough and complicated sometimes. Claudia and I had a lot of wonderful married Christian friends, and we really admired them and learned a lot from them over the years. But even their marriages were never perfect, and they got mad and frustrated with each other at times. As a pastor who counseled with many couples, I often heard these thoughts:  “He doesn’t spend much very time with me, and when I’m hurting, he doesn’t listen to me or care about how I feel”. Or guys might say, “She’s always nagging me to get this or that done, and she’s always wants to change me or get me to do something new”. And of course, there are usually a lot of worse conflicts than that!

I honestly tell people that Claudia and I had a wonderful marriage, and that is true! But, it was far from perfect. Claudia was someone who liked to “journal”. She would weekly, sometime daily, write her thoughts out to God. Some were expressions of praise and thanksgiving for how he was working in her life. But she also wrote down her frustrations, disappointments, and even anger, both at God and other people in her life. I have read some of those now that she is gone. I was surprised to discover (and I’m sure that my friends who know me would be too) that Claudia was often angry and frustrated with ME! Things like I didn’t listen to her and ignored her feelings, was too busy with work and didn’t spend enough time with her and the kids, and so on. My first thought in reading these was “Wow! It’s so sad that Claudia was so flawed by her sinfulness that she completely misunderstood me so often! She really failed to see just how compassionate, sensitive, and caring I really am, and just what a really great guy I am!”  …Nah, just kidding.  I know many of my flaws back then, and truth is, she probably left many out! (Just a note for any women whom I might talk to or date now: all of those flaws have since been corrected, and I’m good to go now. Everything’s fine, its good, nothing to see here anymore. Okay? Lol!)

2) JESUS, “MR. PERFECT”, SAW OUR BROKEN, SAD PROFILES, AND RATHER THAN TOSS US AWAY AND LOOK FOR SOMEONE BETTER, MORE LIKE HIM, HE DECIDED TO FORGIVE US, REDEEM US, AND GIVE HIS LIFE FOR US SO WE CAN BECOME THE BEAUTIFUL (OR HANDSOME), JOY-FILLED, PEACEFUL MEN AND WOMEN THAT HE WANTS TO HAVE AS HIS “BRIDE” IN HIS FUTURE KINGDOM!

The apostle Paul recognized that if we ABIDE in Jesus (meaning to make our home with him), trust our lives to him, and make him a main part of our everyday relationships, we will have his power to treat each other as he treated us: sacrificially, humbly, and putting our interests and needs above his own.

¹  If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ²  then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. ³  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. ⁴  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: ⁶  Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, ⁷  but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  ⁸  And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death– even death on a cross! – Philippians 2:1-8 (NIV)

So, how do we begin to treat each other in marriage (or any relationship) anything close to like Jesus treats us? How does it look to live in marriage “like the lifestyle of Jesus”?

3) BE REALISTIC. REMEMBER WHO YOU BOTH REALLY ARE (AND AREN’T), GIVE EACH OTHER A BREAK, AND NEVER GIVE UP!

As a pastor, I performed hundreds of weddings. And to be honest, most couples, especially younger couples, didn’t really pay much attention to the vows, the scriptures, or the great advice I offered them! They looked at each other with “rose colored glasses”, thinking “how could anything ever go wrong or be disappointing, because we love each other so much!”

The traditional wedding vows that most pastors use tell the real story and challenge of marriage. The ones I used said this:

“In the name of God, I_______, take you, _______, to be my wife (husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.”

Every married couple knows that no matter how wonderful you both are, you’re going to have some better and worse, some richer and poorer, and some sickness and health, and those tougher experiences will define who you really are, who you become together, and what kind of marriage and the depth of love you will have. And, you are to live that great adventure, together, until you are parted by death!

4) FINALLY, TO MODEL JESUS’ LIFESTYLE IN MARRIAGE, “ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE”!

No, I’m not taking about simple, superficial love the Beatles sang about in their song in 1967, or the simplistic love we see in romantic comedies.

To love like Jesus, we need to work with the best and worst in each other, and never give up wanting the best for the other person!

Paul describes that Jesus-like love in I Corinthians 13, often dubbed “The Love Chapter” and quoted at most weddings, at least when I did them!

⁴  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres .⁸  Love never fails…

 – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)
 This is what real love looks like! :

– Love is patient.   Do you fume and get upset when your spouse is late, or doesn’t do something the way you want them to?

– Love is kind. Do you say encouraging things to your spouse, and never demean them or embarrass them, especially in public?

– Love does not envy, does not boast, and is not proud. Do you envy an ability your spouse has that you don’t? Or, envy someone else’s spouse who is better at something than yours? Are you boastful and proud, maybe embarrassing your spouse in public, rather than being humble and caring about them more than you?

– Love is not rude or self -seeking. Are you rude and disrespectful to your spouse?

Does it have to be “all about you”, or are you willing to sacrifice some time and interests to please him/her instead?

Love is not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. Are you angry about every little thing, always blaming him/her? In conflict, do you get “historical”, recalling every transgression they have done for years and never letting go and forgetting the past?

– Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. Do you constantly highlight all the sins, mistakes, and failures of your spouse? Or, do you encourage him/her by focusing on all the good growth and improvement in their lives?

– Love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Love like this never fails! This mirrors exactly the way Jesus treats us! He will always protect us, and as we trust him we will also better be able to trust each other. He gives us hope for a strong marriage, in him, that will last all our life and never fail!

Paul closes the “Love Chapter” by saying “And now these 3 remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love”.

Faith in Jesus will give us a new life and the power to live like him, through his Spirit dwelling within us. Hope from God helps us know that there is a great, eternal future for us in Jesus, no matter how tough life may be at the moment.

But Love is the very character of God, and as we grow in that, our marriages and life relationships will get constantly better! And our love will continue to grow with Jesus forever!

For those who are presently married, I prayer your Jesus-like love for each other will build the other person into a wonderful man or woman of God!

And for those of us who are perhaps looking for a potential marriage in the future:  I pray that rather than focusing only on finding that special “soulmate” or “one” to make us happy, complete, and no longer lonely, that we would actually seek to find a special person to us that we can love as Jesus loved, and live in such a way as to build them up into the wonderful woman/man that God intends them to be. For when we do that, we will both experience the joy, peace, and fun that God desires for all our marriages!

Happy loving, and living like Jesus!

²⁸  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)   -(Jesus)

We live in a world of ever-increasing speed, technology, overload of information, newsfeeds of disaster, fear, and anxiety, and most people would love to get off that merry-go-round!  But we don’t think we can; so we count the days until our next vacation or “getaway”, and then post pictures on Facebook from our vacation at the beach or mountains or lake or exotic island so that other people can feel envious and then hurriedly plan their next getaway from the “rat race” of everyday life! And the cycle never ends…

I’m just finishing reading a book that has really challenged me and stirred my soul in this area. The book is called “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry”, by a young pastor in Portland named John Mark Comer. The primary focus of the book is on this statement above from Jesus. I’m going to restate that passage above, one line at a time, and I invite you to slowly read each line separately, meditating on that line for a moment, and then ask yourself “Can I identify with this?”, and “Do I really want the life Jesus is offering here?”

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,

And I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon me and learn from me,

For I am gentle and humble in heart,

And you will find rest for your souls.

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Pastor and author Eugen Peterson, who wrote “The Message”, a contemporary paraphrase of the Bible, translates this passage like this:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me— watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO TAKE THE “YOKE” OF JESUS?

In farming, 2 oxen would be yoked together to pull a cart or plow. That would ease the burden on each, and it forced them to walk at the same pace and balance the load and have more energy to go farther. So if you are yoked to Jesus, he will not only share your life burdens, but he will actually carry much more of them than you can, because he is much stronger! Plus, he will slow your pace down to his rhythm and make your life much more restful and peaceful.

 But there is a more significant idea of yoke here that we often miss! Jesus was considered a Rabbi, or teacher, and in his day the term yoke was considered the Rabbi’s way of teaching the Torah, the Bible they had then. Not only that, it was his set of teachings on “how to be human” and deal with all the weight and issues of life. Jesus’s disciples, or apprentices, were not only to learn his teachings, but even more importantly, learn his lifestyle as well! Following Jesus can be can be reduced to 3 major goals:

1) Be with Jesus.

2) Become like Jesus in your lifestyle.

3) Do what he would do if he were you!

⁶  Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. – John 14:6 (ESV)

Notice Jesus is offering us 3 vital things we need, and they all only come through him!

He offers us an abundant LIFE, which begins when we trust our lives to him, and that new life will last forever!

He offers us the TRUTH, which is the Bible, and especially his teachings of what that new life will look like.

But he also offers us the WAY, which is not only the way to connect to his Father, but the way of life Jesus lived, the lifestyle that we are to take on as his followers!

The early Christians were called ”The Way” by others because of the strange, counter-cultural lifestyle they adopted from Jesus. The western church in our culture has lost the understanding of what that lifestyle is and how Jesus invites us to live each day. We don’t live any differently than the rest of our busy, confused, exhausted, anxious non-believing friends!

I hope to begin a series of blogs now that focus on the PRACTICES OF JESUS that allowed him to live a life that was never hurried, but always focused on exactly what was most important, the mission of wonderful, abundant life the Father sent him here to give us! These “practices” of how Jesus lived every day have historically been called “Spiritual Disciplines”, which in our culture sounds like no fun at all, and something we certainly don’t have time to do! So, let’s just fool ourselves and call them the “cool lifestyle practices of Jesus” that can lead to rest, joy, peace, fearlessness, and a way of living that will make us fulfilled, purposeful, and the envy of our hurried and frazzled friends!

I will confess that even as a pastor, I have not been very good at learning and practicing this actual lifestyle of Jesus! My wife was a busy school teacher as well, and with school, church, kids’ activities, and friends and family, I fear our pace of life would be often categorized as part of the “rat race”. Looking back now, I regret wasting too many moments of life on useless and trivial pursuits, when I could have had many more quality moments with my wife, kids, friends, and God himself! And what is life, if not but a series of precious moments that God gifts to us every 24 hours?

Well, I would like to do better at living the lifestyle of Jesus for the remainder of my life, and I hope you desire that as well! I will try to share what I learn as I grow in these practices of life that Jesus showed us, and I encourage you to try that as well.  (If you want to buy John Mark Comer’s book, I would encourage you to do that and get a better idea of what I’m talking about.)  Here are a few simple suggestions that you may try, to start:

– Try reading one of the gospels slowly (Matthew, Mark, Luke or John), but don’t read it so much for just the teachings of Jesus, as vital as they are. Try reading it as a “biography” of Jesus, and pay attention to HOW he lived every day. How did he focus his time? How did he deal with interruptions? What was the pace of his life? Who did he choose to talk with, and who didn’t he? What was important to him, and what wasn’t? How did he avoid distractions of his culture?

– Try to take a short period of time (start with 10 minutes?), and get away by yourself, away from all noise and people. Breathe deeply and slowly, and focus your mind on the quietness and imagine that you are in God’s presence (because you always are!). He may bring something to your mind, or not, but relax and be grateful that God loves you and wants to spend time with you!

– Ask yourself what REALLY matters most to you in life, and how are you spending your time and resources to focus on those areas? How many activities of our day are just distractions, and costing us precious moments that can never be regained?

Jesus came to offer us a new way of life, a restored humanity, that can begin now and carry on into eternity into the new Earth and Heaven combined in his Kingdom! Most of us are settling for just a tiny fraction of what Jesus came to bring us, and many will miss out on this eternal life completely, lost in the pursuit of this world’s deceptions. Jesus warned us of that:

²⁵  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. ²⁶  For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? – Matthew 16:25-26 (ESV)

I’ve lived a wonderful life, and a favorite expression in our family is true for me, “I have been richly blessed”. But, I’ve also missed out on many moments that God had for me, because I was too distracted with the cares and worries of this world to fully grasp the better life he offered, if I would only listen!

I want to finish better, and I hope you do as well! I want to live the rest of my life as close to the lifestyle of Jesus as I can. I can’t do it by myself, but God gives us his Holy Spirit to empower us and help us abide in Jesus.

Won’t you join me? Why settle for only what the world offers, when we can have so much more in Jesus?

I will pray for you on this journey, and pray for me as well! I close with a marvelous prayer from Paul that we can all pray for each other:

¹⁶  I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸  may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. ²⁰  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.  -Ephesians 3:16-21 (NIV)